‘I don’t know how to say it exactly. Only… I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?’ he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself? ‘I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I’m not.’
I bite my lip feeling inferior. While I’ve been ruminating on the availability of trees, Peeta has been struggling with how to maintain his identity. His purity of self. ‘Do you mean you won’t kill anyone?’ I ask.
‘No, when the time comes, I’m sure I’ll kill just like everybody else. I can’t go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to… to show the Capitol they don’t own me. That I’m more than just a piece in their Games,’ says Peeta.
‘But you’re not,’ I say. ‘None of us are. That’s how the Games work.’
‘Okay, but within that frame work, there’s still you, there’s still me,’ he insists. ‘Don’t you see?’
‘A little, Only… no offense, but who cares, Peeta?’ I say.
‘I do. I mean what else am I allowed to care about at this point?’ he asks angrily. He’s locked those blue eyes on mine now, demanding an answer.